Needs engine. Everything else works fine.

I came across a car ad on Facebook marketplace this morning with the description, “Needs engine. Everything else works as it should.”


Sure, no problem. I’ll be glad to snap up a car with no engine. I mean, that’s only a teensie-weensie little problem, right?

Imagine the stereotypical used car salesman, dressed in his finest polyester leisure suit (Google it, Millennials) and fat stubby tie that won’t hit beyond his bulging midsection. His cowboy boots are shined so brightly you can see the glare of his comb-over in them.

car dealer

Used Car Salesman:  Whatcha lookin’ for, my friend?

Nervous Customer: Uh, well, something cheap.

UCS: (laughing too loudly) Well, now, cheap ain’t gonna cut it. But I got AFFORDABLE… how ’bout this here 2015 deluxe model for only 700?

NC: Wow, uh, really, all that for 700 bucks?

UCS: (laughing even louder, about a 7.9 on the Richter scale) That’s the, uh, monthly investment.

NC: How many months?

UCS: (twists nervously at oversized mustache) Well, now, just uh, 72.

NC: 72? How many years is that?

UCS: Uh, ya know, uh, let’s see… (fumbles for pocket calculator).

NC: Nevermind. I only got $700.

UCS: For a down?

NC: A what?

UCS: Nevermind. You need to come over to our… back lot.

NC: back lot?

UCS: Follow me, kiddo.

Our friendly Used Car Salesman stomps off, cowboy boots clicking on the asphalt, leaving our Nervous Customer in the wake of his Aqua Velva (Google it, youngsters…)


Any passerby can now see a flashy dude waving his arms and gesturing wildly at car after car, dragging his prey behind him, until he gets to the “last car”…

A tired looking but stable early 2000s model four door sits at the end of the line. Numerous numbers on the windshield have been rubbed off.

NC: How much for this one?

UCS: Oh, now, well, ya know, just so happens to be … how much did you say you had again?

NC & UCS: (in unison) 700 bucks.

UCS: You’re in luck, kiddo. This little jewel is exactly $700, including taxes and fees.

There’s no engine, but EVERYTHING else on it works fine!

NC: No engine?

UCS: The windshield wipers, air conditioner, heater, door locks, seats, headlights… everything. Works fine, just fine, yes indeedy!

NC: Uh…

UCS: Kick them tires. Not a bit of dry rot. No indeedy!

NC: No engine?

UCS: Looky here, this thing is a bargain. It’s got 99 percent of what it needs. Everything but the engine. Whaddaya say now?

Well, that’s my story. I can’t make this stuff up. (The ad, that is. I can make up everything else, yuck yuck, hardy har har…)

car dealercar dealer



How to win at Monopoly

Love Monopoly, but sick of losing after hours of play? Well, my friend, prepare to get your just reward!

Follow these simple instructions and you can kiss losing goodbye!

Barter and pay any amount for the first three Monopoly properties of same color. Don’t waste your time on two color, railroads, utilities, etc. They are only side attractions.

Be first to get 3 same color properties. Then, put houses on them ASAP. The idea is to get 4 houses on each property. NO HOTELS. This keeps the number of possible houses per game (32) at a minimum for your opponents. Once you get a set of properties, get two more ASAP. Sell your other properties, do whatever you can to borrow, bargain, etc. Then, once you get houses on them, keep them at 4 houses per property. If you get 2 sets of 3 same color properties, that’s 12 houses per set or 24 houses for both sets. If you claim 24 houses, that leaves only 8 houses for your opponents. Don’t ever cash in for hotels, cuz that just gives the opposition access to more houses. Then, once you have 24 houses, you sit back, roll the dice, and wait to win.

monopoly Continue reading “How to win at Monopoly”

Racism in Springfield, Missouri?

My pastor, Bob Casady, mentioned an incident recently where a couple hosted more than 600 Missouri State University students at their back lawn gathering. The host introduced himself to a group of black students who are from another area. They said to him, “You’re the first white person to talk to us. Is Springfield a racist town?”

Black students

My pastor asked our congregation at Schweitzer United Methodist Church, a mostly white group:

“How would YOU answer that question?”

I haven’t had a black friend to hang out with since the 80s (Evangel College…Carl Farmer) and 90s (Kansas City…Jimmy Collins).

Pastor Bob went on to talk about a black man who struck up conversations with KKK members and consequently, 120 of them turned in their hoods and robes to him as a sign of quitting the hate group. The point was that you can’t hate someone you know. The KKK dudes said they didn’t really know any black people.

Bob Casady
Pastor Bob

I want to know that if you are African-American, I am looking to be your friend. Not because of your color, but because of my lack of color.

Thank you in advance.

Also, I welcome your comments about racism in your community.


Number 1 way to save on homeowner’s insurance

All good homeowners get homeowner’s insurance.

But have you ever thought “why?”

Those folks, like my friend Rowena and her husband, Jonathan, down in Houston, Texas, are probably glad they got homeowner’s insurance. They saw more hurricane rain this weekend than they ever wanna see… kind of like being Noah, without the ark, down there…

But, let’s consider that for the most part, Homeowner’s Insurance, is, to borrow a phrase from a movie where kids kill each other for food (Hunger Games) “may the odds be ever in the (insurance agent’s) favor”…

home damage.jpg

I don’t like the odds stacked against me. If I owned a home, I would NOT bow to the insurance gods… no siree, Bob… (who is Bob anyway, and why do people say “yesirree” to him?)

No way would I flush my hard earned money down the tube of insurance scammery…

I will illustrate with a blunt, brutal story from my best friend, which happened this morning:

Me: How much money have you spent, on average, on homeowner’s insurance?

Best Friend: $200 per month.

Me: For how long?

Best Friend: About 20 years.

Me: And how many claims did you have during those 20 years?

Best Friend: Two.

Me: How much were they?

Best Friend: One was $16,000 and the other was $6,000.

Me: And insurance paid it?

Best Friend: Yep.

Me: So, let me get this right. All you had to do to get $22,000 worth of coverage was pay $200 per month for 20 years? So, that’s 200 times 12, which is 2,400 per year, times 20 years… that’s $48,000…

Best Friend: Sounds about right.

Me: So, you got $22,000 coverage for $48,000 investment. That’s a net loss of $26,000.

Best Friend: I don’t like the way you put things.

So, there you have it, friends. A real world, heart wrenching story from this morning. Think about that next time your fork over your hard-earned $200 on homeowner’s insurance.  Perhaps my friends, you should put $200 into a separate bank account on your own. Hey, you’re blowing it on an outside insurance company anyway! So, put it in an account that YOU control. Then, when disaster strikes, use the money you’ve paid to YOURSELF… and, if you DON’T use it all… and why would you? You have extra money at retirement… maybe $26,000 or MORE!

(I’m only asking that you pay me 10 percent of your savings. This is a real bargain for you, since you didn’t have to pay to read this free advice on how to save big!)

What are YOUR thoughts on homeowner’s insurance? Is it worth it?

I would love your feedback!







One Woman vs. Hate Speech

riot.jpgA lady I’ve never met posted something worth reposting. Her name is Tammy Lockard. Check it out:

Some in Charlottesville, were just patriots. Some are sick of the anti-white rhetoric etc. There were groups of historians who believe we should “keep monuments to remind us of our mistakes”. There were many people there who were venting, and many who were there to show their aggression.
I think it was a really poorly run event. If we shut up people we do not agree with, we will miss the chance to listen to what their issues and points of view, are..
I am a person who believes in the most freedom of speech, and free right to assemble. I don’t feel strongly about monuments to dead people. I don’t even want my own grave marked etc. I would rather completely evaporate without a trace.
The event was one where people had applied for a license to assemble. It was approved, because our laws give us the right to protest our government and opposite views, in a peaceful and orderly assembly. It should have been a protected assembly. Once the license was approved, proper law enforcement should have been in place. That is exactly where this process failed. At every instance of lawlessness or assault, on either side, arrests should have been made.
If we cannot freely assemble, we live in tyranny. These laws were put in place to insure we have a voice, all of us.
That right was an informed event of assembly. Unfortunately, the Mayor and police force chose to ignore lawlessness. The day should never have ramped up into what amounted to gang wars.
Our government officials, and Justice Department are going to have to hold law enforcement and local authorities responsible for being derelict in their duties. Otherwise, they allow organized tyranny to prevail.
The truth is, there are always going to be people who do not look like you or think like you. They are sovereign individuals, with a sovereign right to like you or not. They do not have to agree with you. You do not have to agree with them. But you do not have a right to assault them.
We have had KKK rallies forever. People typically go to watch them, like children at a parade. They watch them wear their goofy hats and say ridiculous things. The same with the Nazis. A few, stand on the sidelines and heckle the goofy people. Then, everyone goes home and gives their children lessons and opinions, and move on.
In the past, they were very minor events. They were well policed etc. Now, law enforcement have lost their authority because of a groundswell of disrespect, against their place in our society as peacekeepers.
The Anarchists are shortsighted people. They were the worst element of the day. They have no plan but to tear people and government, down. They are brutal bullies who stooped to violence. They are, ironically, the exact thing they say they hate, bullies. They hide behind masks which cannot hide the shallowness of their agenda. They have no follow-through plan for a deconstructed country. They are not there to build anything. If you ask them ” and then what?”, they have no clue. They will throw us all into chaos, and then do nothing about the damage.
I have yet to see, an anarchist who can think beyond their belligerence and rage. They scream “our rights are being denied” but when you challenge them to run for office and “be the change they want to see”, they stomp off. I personally, do not judge people who are willing to do a necessary job, I am unwilling to do. I do not give opinions without assistance and proposed solutions. They have little to no ideas. They certainly, could never be, an alternative solution. At the end of the day, someone else would need to pick up after their mess and re-establish order.
I fear the foreign hands in inciting chaos. Lincoln understood this when he said “a house divided will surely fall”.. and fall to what (or whom)? There are just too many elements of this trend, to not see a pattern of nonstop assault on our strength of our nation.

What do you think?

Chime in here!


Something Big

Something big is coming! I know, it sounds like HYPE… and, well, in a way… who cares if it is?
The point is, when something this big happens, the ones who know have an obligation, even a duty, to inform those who do not know…
Consider yourself warned. Don’t miss it! stay tuned here for more information soon!

Please…don’t read this if you aren’t a man over 40

I’ve been trying to kick start a blog for some time now. Problem is, I don’t have a niche.

You know, a determined, pre-conceived audience for whom I write.

A friend asked me point blank the other day, in response to my  post in a Writers & Authors Page on Facebook about not being able to find an audience with my blog.

She asked, “Who is your audience?” and I kinda thought to myself, um, well, I guess it’s… and my mental voice kinda trailed off at that point, like my 13-year-old’s does when I ask if he’s done his homework.

So, I thought about it, for like 12 seconds, as always, ’cause I like to make snap decisions (indecision ranks down there with my 16-year-old’s used sock smell) and I blurted (if one can blurt in a text message) that I supposed my audience was “Millennials who want to discover something about themselves.”

Honestly, the ONLY reason I said that crap was because:

     A. I didn’t like feeling stupid for not finding a target audience before starting my blog

     B. I didn’t want a girl who used to play keyboards at church as a teenager when I was a big muckety-muck youth pastor at the same church show me up with her simple question about who my target audience was

     C. My best friend’s son (who claims he’s a Millennial at age 20, but heck, my cousin’s 16-year-old daughter claims she’s a Millennial…bzzt WRONG!) claims he LOVED my blog posts and said they would totally connect with Millennials so I thought, Millennials, yeah. I’m hip. I thought I was writing to my peer group, but hey, I guess the young folks dig it more ’cause I’m so honest, or something.

For the record,  I Googled generational distinctions and Millennials were born between 1980 and 1995, according to a reliable source, the Center For Generational Kinetics… the reason for this is the emotional connection Millennials feel from 9/11 (September 11, 2001) and the Gen Z kids (born after 1995) were too young for a strong emotional experience related to that event when it happened. Some sources claim Millennials were born as late as 2000 but that leaves no personal connection to 9/11 so… nope.

Anyhoo, Millennial stuff now researched, my friend (who really is a Millennial) said many Millennials are too sensitive for my terms (retard, turd-breath, Republican, Bible thumper, light in the loafers, God-phobe atheist, sand Negro, Bathrobe head, and many other outlandish terms that I don’t really use but just might if so inclined and I’d just been ripped off by a street beggar who was really a disgruntled Postal Worker posing as a Homeless Person.

Read the above paragraph again if you want, but it won’t make much sense the second time, either.

Welp, anyways, I ditched the notion right then and there when my Millennial Friend suggested that her peers were too pussy to purr over my bluntness. So, I said, screw Millennials. Or, Gen Z’s who think they’re freakin’ Millennials. How about I just do this stupid blog post for myself?

That would mean you’d have to be a white, 50ish man who’s wife divorced him after a long time and several kiddos, leaving him confused and angry but pretending he’s doing well. That would mean my audience is composed of men who love God and Jesus and grew up going to church but feel like church is kinda wimpy and phony at worst, and a good place to meet people who want to care at best.

That would mean my blog would be geared toward guys who feel absolutely invisible at times and who feel like if they stripped naked and set themselves on fire in a crowded restaurant people would still push past him to get to the taco salad.

Bottom line is, I don’t think people of any culture or viewpoint or age or race or creed or color or religion or cult or background, be it Redneck, Rogue, or Refined, can collect enough interest to stop and read a blog these days, unless it’s followed by millions (or at least more than 6?) people on a regular basis.

I got ten or 12 likes on my last post and I felt pretty doggone superb about that, being that in the past post, I got like, um, zero to one  like (I think my Mom liking a post doesn’t really count). But, thanks Mom, if you’re reading this.

So please, don’t read this blog unless you’re a man over 40. You’re not my demographic. And, you have no business liking it.

Whether or not you like this blog, it’s for me. Your comments are always welcome, even if you aren’t a guy over 40!

John Cockroft isn’t crazy. He’s just not sure how to get a bigger audience. He believes his words hold value and his opinions matter. But then again, most people reading this feel that way about themselves. Hey, maybe everyone is his demographic, after all! and for more about him.